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Oh the joys of having a newborn.
I was fresh out of a nice, relaxing bath and not even dressed yet when Olivia pooped. And immediately began to fuss. So, I decided to change her real quick before getting my pajamas on.
In the split second it took me to reach for a wipe to wipe her tiny butt off, she pooped again. Right onto her blankey that she was laying on.
So, I scooped her up, wiped her off and placed her down on the bed on the blanket I had JUST washed and dried and put on my bed an hour earlier.
And she proceeded to poop on THAT too.
So, there I am holding her in one hand, wiping poop off her miniscule tushy and scrubbing it out of my blanket with another baby wipe and she starts pooping AGAIN.
Now I've got baby poop running down my thigh and on my bare hip and a tiny demon baby who is projecting her mustard-feces onto every surface she can aim and hit.
I snatch up a receiving blanket, plop her on it and wait for her to finish. Meanwhile I run for a washcloth and wet it with warm water. In the eleven seconds that this task takes, she has proceeded to poop more and then has bicycled her skinny monkey legs all through it and waved her arms like a crazed madwoman trying desperately to make a poop-angel instead of a snow-angel. And she has remarkably succeeded. Ucenter Dress summer wears for mother of the bride or groom
So then I am washing her up, and she becomes FURIOUS with righteous indignation because I am totally RUINING her art work and she's screaming in her squeaky way and making her whole teensy body turn beet red in her fury and meanwhile her big sister is crouched down bedside her, looking utterly disgusted and hollering at me in an appalled voice "WHEN I WAS A BABY I DID NOT POOP ON BLANKETS!!!!"
Look, kid. Babies are gross and weird. You were when you were a baby and your sister clearly is too.
Glad I wasted that bath.
I mean, who wants to walk around smelling of lavender anyway?
Baby poop is WAY better.